Darcy And The Dead

                                 Darcy And The Dead

                                              A shorty play by Neeraj Hastings

Darcy comes out from the Casino, foot man intercepts him

Footman: Your car sir?

Darcy: No I would prefer to walk down to Pemberley

Footman: It may be dangerous sir with the road hold-ups and Mafia shoot out around for the owner of a

                  casino stepping out and moving alone?

Darcy: How dare you advice me? Do you expect Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy to go on the advice offered by a  

           footman?

Footman: My apologies sir. I thought………

Darcy : You thought? Who has given you the authority to think? I am sure that authority has not been

              extended to you from my end!

Footman: No sir!

Darcy: I believe it would be better if you get back into Casino and bring back my cigar case from my    

            office drawers .

Footman: I will be right back sir.

                                  Goes

Suddenly the two gangs entire on the stage from two different directions shooting vigorously at each other. Darcy stands surprised watching the cross fire. Suddenly one gangster is shot and his gang runs away. The other mafia don goes to the dead body of the victim and kicks him, and then he looks at Darcy.

Gangster: Hey you nuts!

Darcy: Excuse me fellow. Do you know the gentleman you address so rudely as nuts? I am Mr.

             Fitzwilliam Darcy who owns the Pemberley estate.

Gangster: (Gives a loud and hearty laugh) Hey you folks! Did you get what this geek says?

Henchmen: No

Gangster: He says that he is a gentleman

Henchmen: A Gentleman?

Gangster Yes, a gentleman who owns Pemberley estate! Isn’t it you nerd?

Darcy: Yes! I own Pemberley estate but I am no nerd.

Gangster: No You are a Gentleman because you put on ambassador shoes. Isn’t that fellows?

Henchmen: Yesssssssss

Gangster: A gentleman is known by the shoes he wears

Henchmen: Yesssssss

Gangster: Should I become a gentleman too?

Henchmen: Yesssssssss

Gangster: But how can I become a gentleman?

Henchmen: By putting on his ambassador shoes.

Darcy: No, no you dare not touch my shoes. They have been imported from Milan.

Henchmen: Milaaaaaaannnn?

Gangster: Oooooooooo. (reaches to him) So Mr. Gentleman? Are you taking off your shoes or (takes him on gunpoint) I make a hole in your head ?

Darcy: Yes yes you may have them. Have them (hurriedly takes his shies off) Here they are!

                        Gangster picks his shoes up

Gangster: Let us move folks  (they start moving out)

Darcy: No you cant get away like this, leave your shoes behind. How can I go without my shoes on?

Gangster: Put on the shoes of the Dead. Folks let us move on, leaving behind Darcy and the dead.

                            They all move out. Darcy goes to the dead man. Very hatefully he takes

                            off the shoes of the dead man and puts them on. As he is putting on the

                           shoes his expression change from sophisticated to crude. He searches the pockets of the

                           dead man and comes out with a gun. He takes off his jacket and changes with his coat.

                          Puts on the cap of the gangster too. Now he is a hard core criminal.

                                                 Enter the footman

Footman: Here is your cigar case sir. (Suddenly looks at Darcy and is surprised)

Darcy: Hey you rogue!

Footman: (surprised) Sir!

Darcy: Don’t act nuts. Do you know me?

Footman: Yes sir. You are Mr. Darcy,

Darcy: Don’t try to play smart with me. A single bullet can put an end to all your goofiness I am Marcos.

Footman: (surprised) Marcos? Who is Marcos?

Darcy: Yes. I am Marcos the Don. Dealer in drugs, narcotics, kidnapping. I am waiting for my punters

             here.

 Footman: Punters? Did you kill this man sir?  

Darcy: No, by the Devil gang and I have to pay back.

Footman: But sir you are Mr. Darcy the owner of  the Pemberley estate.

Darcy: What Pemberley estate. I own two ale houses, an illegal gambling den and a gang of 40 punters

Footman: No sir. Your gambling house is not illegal. It is a registered casino.

Darcy: Will you shut up you monkey head. You clear off from here and mind not to speak of anything to

             anyone or your next destination will be two feet deep in the ground. I am on my way to take my

             revenge. Uff. These shoes don’t fit me well.

                             (He keeps the gun down. Takes off his shoes. The moment he takes off his shoes he

                               returns to be Darcy. Meanwhile footman his picked up his gun)

Footman: If you move I shoot

Darcy: Do you know who you are talking to?

Footman: Yes. I am talking to Marcos the Don who owns two ale houses, an illegal gambling den and a

                   gang of 40 Punters.

Darcy: Don’t you know that I am Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy the owner of Pemberley estate? And you are my

            footman.

Footman: Yes I am the footman of Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy the owner of Pemberley estate. What have you

                   done with him? Killed?

Darcy: I am Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Why would I kill my own self? Where did you get that gun from?

Footman: From You

Darcy: I don’t carry a gun. What a senseless statement you are making before your honorable master

             who you have been serving for so many years, common put that gun away. I have to go to

             propose Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Footman: No you have to go to go to pay back the devil gang, but you are going nowhere but to the

                   police station on the charge of the murder of this poor man and my master Mr. Fitzwilliam

                   Darcy.

Darcy: I am Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. How would I murder my ownself you block headed scoundrel.

Footman: Nothing doing. Just put on those shoes of yours and get moving. Common.

Darcy: (heavily insulted) You will have to pay for the insulting rude behavior of yours (reluctantly puts on

             his shoes. As he puts on the shoes there is a change in his behavior. He slaps the foot man and

             snatches the gun) How dare you touch that gun of mine?

Footman: (Surprised) Mr. Darcy!

Darcy: Who is this Darcy? I told you I am Marcos the Don who owns two ale houses, an illegal gambling

             den and a gang of 40 punters.

Footman: I beg your pardon sir

Darcy: So you are a beggar!

Footman: No, I was just begging your pardon sir

Darcy: No matter what you beg, a beggar is a beggar

Footman: (aside) I believe there is some miracle in his shoes. I will have to check them out.

Darcy: What are you grumbling? I believe you are not swearing on me.

Footman: No sir. I was just thinking to remind you that those shoes of yours……

Darcy: what about them? I always wear them. They are fine shoes. Now I should leave for I have to kill

            that rogue Devil. You are a nice fellow. Do you want to join my gang. There is still a vacancy for

            two shooters. Can you kill a man?

Footman: No sir

Darcy: Then you will have to die, sonny. You can’t get away after meeting Marcos.

Footman: But sir I bring no harm.

Darcy: That is why you are of no use. To profit in this world you have to bring harm.

             Enter Devil with a gun in his hand

Devil: Hey you nuts. Still there?

Darcy: Devil, Be ready to meet your death

Devil: Oh the gentleman is speaking like a gangster.

         Darcy shoots at him. Devil falls Footman is surprised and terrified

Darcy: When you shoot, just shoot, don’t talk

             Fallen devil also shoots at Darcy. Darcy falls dead. Devil also dies.

Footman: A man is known by the shoes he wears.

                              The End

Note: This play was awarded second prize in Inter-School Drama Competition 'Panorma-2014' held at Delhi Public School, Kalyanpur